Sleep is a complex and personal thing that even doctors and psychologists don’t know everything about. When I think of myself at 14 – how I overthought what people thought of me and stressed out about school – this explanation makes sense. Slowing down my brain for long enough to get decent rest can feel impossible. I’ve tried just about everything to get a good night’s rest (Picture: Molly Greeves) These disturbances have woken up family members, flatmates and partners, and though the people who love me are understanding, having people see me in such a vulnerable state can be uncomfortable. I’ve turned off my phone alarm before it wakes me and, occasionally, I’ll text someone something nonsensical while asleep. The cycle of tiredness causing sleep disturbance and vice versa can entrap me for weeks.Įven if I don’t have a terror, my mind is still active: I talk or I move around. I’ll often lie awake dreading falling asleep.
I don’t jump out of bed every night anymore but I cannot remember the last time I experienced a deep dreamless sleep.Īs a result, I am often exhausted after eight hours of ‘rest’ and emotionally drained from the fear and pain of what my mind has shown me. I usually remember the details the next day, but sometimes a friend or family member will recall a conversation we had in the night that I’ve forgotten. Sometimes I’m being attacked by spiders or rats, sometimes it’s just an unsettling feeling that triggers a fight or flight reaction, and I have been known to leap out of bed and run out the room while asleep. It’s very common among children, who usually grow out of it.
Different from nightmares, a night terror is a sleep disorder that causes panic, dread and fear, usually during the first few hours of sleep.